


Evolution of Pines

by NovelistServant



Category: Gravity Falls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:53:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29373384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovelistServant/pseuds/NovelistServant
Summary: Ford attempts to give Mabel a science lesson.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 30





	Evolution of Pines

**Takes place between Stanchurian Candidate and The Last Mabelcorn…**

“BOB! BOB! BOB! BOB!”

Ford paused pouring his coffee when he heard the odd chanting coming from the living room, but then he heard the sounds of the television and he smiled to himself, guessing the kids were watching some program they enjoyed. Deciding he could take a tiny break from going over his old journals, he wandered towards the living room with the hot mug of coffee in his six-fingered hand.

He smiled at the doorway, seeing a young pair of twins share the big armchair, Dipper grinning and shaking his fists excitedly while Mabel knitted a new sweater with her eyes glued to the TV.

“Bob Dry the Science Guy!” The theme song and the kids finished, and the episode began.

“I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you kids are watching Bob Dry the Science Guy?” Ford asked, leaning against the armchair, greeted by an energetic man in a lab-coat.

“Yup!” Dipper answered. “It’s really good! He teaches about magnets, volcanoes, global warming, bugs, all sorts of things! You knew you were gonna have a good day at school when the teachers pulled out the old TV and the theme song plays.”

“He’s so funny!” Mabel laughed as Bob printed a picture of his parents to explain something and it exploded. “My favorite episode is when he talked about the desert and got chased by a camel.”

Ford watched the TV for a second as Bob Dry explained to his audience that when things copy, they slightly change, explaining evolution. He could definitely understand why both children would love the show, but his interest peaked and his smile crashed down when he heard his niece say, “Eh, I don’t buy it.”

Ford turned his head sharply, like a hunting owl, and managed to make a smile through his shock. “Wh-What do you mean, you don’t buy it?”

Dipper snorted and smirked, “Yeah, Mabel doesn’t believe in evolution.”

Ford swore he could hear glass break. “You… You don’t believe in evolution?”

“Not really.” Mabel said with a shrug, still watching the TV just as invested as she was a few moments ago. “I mean… monkeys, Darwin, it’s a nice story, I just think it’s a little too easy.”

“T-T-T-T-Too easy.” Ford repeated, swallowing hard and standing up. “Too easy? Wait, so, the process of every living thing evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms is too easy?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Once the shock wore off, Ford was actually quite amused. To him, this was simply a child misunderstanding the knowledge offered to them, like teaching a child that 2+2=4, not 22. He chuckled warming and moved around the chair to be next to Mabel and got on one knee to be closer to her level. “Mabel, evolution is scientific fact. It’s just as real as the air we breathe or gravity or…”

“Oh, don’t even get me started on gravity.”

Ford stared at Mabel, confused and startled and maybe even a bit amazed. “Y-You don’t believe in gravity?”

“Oh, I believe in it, I just… I dunno,” Mabel paused her knitting to better explain her idea to her stranger of an uncle. “Lately I’ve just been feeling pushed down instead of pulled down.”

Ford snorted a laugh, caught it in his throat, coughed into his fist, and took in and out a deep breath. “You know, Mabel, there are times I wish my mind was like what yours is right now, so clean, a blank slate, an empty sponge so ready to soak up new knowledge. It’s truly a wonderful time.”

Mabel gave a timid smile back as he walked away, but something about what he said rubbed the young girl a wrong way. Needless to say, she was too distracted about what he had said to pay much attention to Bob Dry.

* * *

Later that night, Mabel petted Waddles in bed robotically, still thinking. Dipper came into the room in his shorts and t-shirt and turned off the main light, leaving only his lantern on, and she decided to ask her brother something.

“Hey Dipper, do you think I’m stupid?”

Dipper turned and stared at her. “What? No, of course not. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met! No one can think of as many colors and games and escape plans as you can.” He stood next to her bed and asked, “Why? What’s up?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Mabel bit her lip, hesitant to tell Dipper how she felt. But this was the first time since Ford came home that Dipper had paid her this much attention, so maybe she should seize her opportunity why she could. “When Great-Uncle Ford said those things it made me feel… stupid.”

Dipper had to take a second to remember what Mabel was talking about. “Oh.” And he sat next to her, legs dangling off the edge, to listen to her.

“Y’know, clean, blank slate, empty… I think… I think he thinks I’m dumb, and if the Author of the Journals thinks that…”

“Hey, hey,” Dipper put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “I’m sure he doesn’t think that. He loves us, we’re great. And even if he does think you’re not very smart, he’s wrong. You’re brilliant! You’re super creative and always thinking outside the box. Who cares if you think a little differently or if you don’t believe in something others do and vise versa. I mean, you believe in gnomes and not a lot of people do.”

Mabel snorted at Dipper’s slightly pathetic try at a joke, but she was still grateful. “Thanks, Dip-Dip.”

“Don’t start unbelieving what you believe in, sis.” Dipper advised, making Mabel laugh, and they both accidentally started singing a cheesy song that always got people hyped.

* * *

At breakfast, Mabel and Dipper were eating Stancakes with the chef cooking up one more batch for himself. They were joined by Ford, who held a rolled-up poster in his hands, and he grinned at the sight of the only female in the room. “There you are Mabel, I wanted to talk to you.”

Mabel perked up and smiled. “Really?”

“Yes,” He unrolled the poster on the table and her smile dropped when it was about evolution. “I wanted to show you the proof that we scientists have collected over the years that evolution exists…”

“Oh boy what did you do to unleash the beast?” Stan groaned.

“Ford found out Mabel doesn’t believe in evolution.” Dipper answered.

“This should be fun.”

“… so you see, they found these fossils all over the world, stretching back as far as four-hundred million years ago.” Ford explained as this poster showed the fossils and what they looked like in life.

“Uh, wow.” Mabel said, holding her chin in thought. “You can actually see it.”

“Yes! See, you can.” Ford said proudly, glad he could help his niece.

“Now,” Mabel looked away, giving this serious thought. “Who puts those fossils there, and why?”

Dipper snorted into his milk and Stan bit his lip when they saw the look on Ford’s face. “Mabel sweetie, I love you so much.” Stan said as he sat down to have some breakfast.

“M-M-Mabel, Mabel, listen to me.” Ford chuckled nervously as he put a hand on her shoulder. “What about… What about thumbs?” He held up his own and further asked, “We human beings have opposable thumbs, now how did we get those without evolution?”

“Oh!” Mabel gasped and removed her hand from her chin to slam a fist down at the table. “Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts!”

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. “While they do, evolution…”

“Great-Uncle Ford, can I ask you something?” Mabel said sweetly, with eyes filled with wonder and sparkles.

Ford grinned. “Yes, of course, my dear. Anything you want.”

“Okay, so, wasn’t there a time when the smartest guys in the world thought the Earth was flat?”

“Uh… y-yes…”

“And, up until sixty years ago, everybody thought the atom was the smallest thing ever, until some dudes split it open and this whole bunch of other stuff came out?”

“Um… y-y-yes, I suppose…”

“Okay, so, one last question, Great-Uncle Ford,” Mabel said. “Is there the teeny tiny-est possibility that you and every other scientist could be wrong about evolution?”

Ford was absolutely dumbfounded. He looked at Dipper and Stan for some sort of assistance or reassurance, but they only peered at him, interested in what Ford had to say now. The aged scientist cleared his throat; his niece’s logic certainly added up, and with all of that said, he felt that he was obligated to swallow his pride and croak out slowly, “There is a teeny… tiny… possibility… that I could be wrong, yes.”

Mabel blinked and put her hands over her heart in shock. Ford was ready to apologize if he had accidentally made her feel that he was so strict and by-the-book that he wouldn’t have enough humility to admit he could be wrong, but his jaw dropped when she said, “I can’t believe you caved.”

“Wh-What?”

“You just abandoned your whole belief system…”

“N-N…”

“… I mean, I didn’t agree with you, gut at least I respected you.”

“B-B-But…”

“Oh my gosh, how are you gonna go to another science convention?”

“I…”

“How will you ever set foot in another museum or planetarium again?” Mabel gasped sadly. “How are you going to face the other science guys? H-How are you going to face yourself?” And she puckered her lips innocently at her uncle, feeling sorry for him.

Ford had absolutely no clue what the heck just happened or how to respond. Feeling numb and needing a moment to digest, he slowly rolled up the poster, but rather than carry it in his hand, he cradled it like it was his own first born son, and hurried back down to the basement with as much dignity as he could muster.

“That was fun.” Mabel said casually as she popped another bite of Stancake into her mouth.


End file.
